Redhead (100 words)
The room was a bloodbath. Poll shivered on the toilet seat despite the condensation smothering the windows. The hair dye drooled; even the hairbrush seemed to sweat. Poll clutched her clammy arms. The towel bound her head too tightly, heat pressed into her scalp.
I bet someone told you blondes have more fun, didn’t they?
Poll smiled, remembering Hazel’s first words to her. How she sat, stunned. Half-offended, half-entertained. How she pushed her fingers into her mousy roots.
Wait, let me guess. Dad watched a lot of Marilyn Monroe.
Hazel was a blaze of colour. Poll wanted to burn too.
This story goes with Stirred. Written for the CAKE.shortandsweet Wednesday Write-in
Read my other free stories here.
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About sarahgracelogan
Sarah Grace is an itinerant scribbler and general layabout. She runs a short story showcase for unpublished writers called CAKE.shortandsweet, because any form of procastination from actual writing is always attractive to the serious author of refined taste.
When not busy editing, publishing or marketing, she likes to write about all sorts of goings on, through the medium of short stories, novels and scripts. One of these days she might get her head around poetry, but it won't be any time soon.
You can find more details about her ongoing projects, not to mention a selection of free stories up for grabs on her blog.
https://sarahgracelogan.wordpress.com/about/
She also likes to talk about theatre, film, books, photography, and especially games and other things that involve collaborative storytelling.
Sarah Grace likes feedback, in whatever form it comes.
Hope it works out for her. A really intense piece.
Thank you, I think there’s a lot more to tell about them. I’m just not sure what order I want to tell it all in yet.
Hazel knows how to make a first impression. I like her. Love ‘the hair dye drooled’.
She’s one of a kind! Haha thanks, I couldn’t think of the right word, then drooled just plopped into my head.
I agree with Patrick – this is intense. Poll is going through a nightmare desperately trying to be right for Hazel. I particularly like the last para.
PS I didn’t see your comment on 18 Jan on my ‘tube’ piece until yesterday. I really appreciate you taking the time to give me your thoughts.
It’s interesting to think about; how much would we change for someone? What would we do?
No worries, I left another comment to your response earlier
I thought Poll killed Hazel at first blush. It helped to reread “Stirred”, then reader comments, and then return to “Redhead”.
I think what threw me was these sentences:
Poll smiled, remembering Hazel’s first words to her. How she sat, stunned. Half-offended, half-entertained. How she pushed her fingers into her mousy roots.
Once I parsed the pronouns I realized that Hazel was pushing her fingers into Poll’s mousy roots, right? That’s when my first reading was shot to shit.
I like where you went with this; but I will be biased to any continuation of “Stirred”–I really enjoyed that one. Hopefully more are on the way.
I actually imagined it as Poll fingering her own hair – but I realised it was fuzzy. I’d decided to stick at 100 words so made it difficult for myself to clear up the confusion – in hindsight, I probably should have done!
I’m glad you enjoyed though. I kind of have a whole world building in my head for these characters. I was discussing with Becca last night the way I keep introducing little worlds on wednesday write-ins, then realising I want to write whole novels about the characters and leaving them alone for fear of spoiling it. I need to stop doing that.
No way! Unless the collection of worlds intermingling in your head is threatening to drive you insane. Wednesday Write-in is like a digital Moleskin with all of your worlds documented, embarked upon, entertained. When you finally set to writing one of those worlds in earnest, all of this pre-writing will creep into your pen subconsciously.
Idyllic, no?
I really like that description of it. Because it’s quite true, I’ve dipped into worlds I created long before starting the write-in, then I’ve discovered new characters that have blossomed into huge rambling stories. And often if I haven’t had time to write, I’ll still have a paragraph of notes for the story I wanted to write and didn’t get the chance that week.
I guess I just feel frustrated sometimes at not getting the chance to sit down and focus on one of them
But it’s nice to know they’re all there, waiting for me to go back!
Are there any of your stories/characters you think about going back to?
Yes, certainly. “Babushka’s Wardrobe” contains the inklings of a much larger composition that I have planned (maybe for my MFA, if I go for it). Colonel Kerkov is one that I have been working on specifically, along with the Babushka character. I have worked on those threads from a lot of different angles in my notebooks but, like you, haven’t had the time or space in my life to pursue them in earnest.